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It was a very blustery day.
Actually it was a ridiculously blustery day. An exceedingly blustery day. The kind of blustering where you peek out your door to get a better look at the weather but the door is immediately ripped out of your hand, followed closely by your coat rack, the decorative bric-a-brac you have scattered around to give your home the “lived in” look, and your pants.
This, my friend, is not a day to be outside. Only the outside is rapidly going to come to you before too long. And as the storm picks up more and more debris, the danger of personal injury up to and including a trash can to the face grows from merely implausible to so-likely-to-happen-that-it-probably-already-did. The world got down on its knees and cried out for a hero, a champion to quell the winds and clear the air of Identified Flying Objects.
Oh, they got their hero alright.
They got SUPER HAPPY CHAINSAW! Champion of the beaver with tooth decay! Cleaver of obstacles most obstructive! Light enough to ride the wind but metal enough to take no damage to his body or to his street cred. Yes, Super Happy Chainsaw will save them all!
That is, provided you wouldn’t mind pulling the ripcord.
You can handle that, right?